back dated to 6/6/09

(I wrote this then, and am just posting it now... It's the beginning of a thought thread, unfinished, but still whirling in the mind...)

So I'm writing just to write. Is that so wrong? Been having the sorts of time-losing conversations where the brain fires a million times a second and the ideas come so fast you can't remember the ride afterwards, but it sure was good. I guess I want to see if I can return to some of the tastier bits, or the ones I'm still chewing on, somewhere in my psychie...

There is a thought path I'm exploring about physical attraction, sexual drive, and human and animal needs that underlay this complex play. (Now is where I question the placement of this entry on this site, herforeto safely avoiding sex even when discussing gestation and fertility and the embrionic state, mainly for the metephor of dormant/invisable below-the-surface activity). Strangely it seems safer to talk about this aspect in terms of death than in terms of sex. It's not polite (or perhaps it simply finds you in bad company) to use the word on the internet. But what the hell.

These days I am lucky enough to consistently have a roof over my head and be free from most forms of physical danger. Many of us can say that the threats our animal bodies are poised to respond to are simply not current or immenent in our daily lives. Perhaps this frees us up to choose mates differently? (I should take a minute to say that in this post my perspective ecchos my reality: that is, it speaks to a 'straight' woman's perspective, narrow at best) So my thinking last week was about the difference between physical safety (as in powerful, as in having a lover who can beat off other agressors -the classic Alpha, or conversly, as in nurturing, having a lover who will nurse your wounds and care for you in weakness or illness) and emotional safety (having a lover who will hear -maybe even understand- your emotions, track your triggors and avoid at most costs further scarring of your psychie).

Maybe there are different kinds of threats, or maybe we are simply privilaged enough for these to be our worst? Statistics say frightening things - that one in four women are sexually molested by the age of 20? Perhaps feeling safe in such an intimate act, feeling safe during sex with your partner is a modern privalege? Is choosing a 'sensitive man' over an alpha not just a modern choice but also the mark of an evolved woman? And further- does it work? Are we programed -either through our animal makeup or our our experiential imprints- to be turned on by danger?

In a culture where masculinity has so long been defined by dominance, one has to wonder where will this dynamic get us?* Basically power, abuse... etc


*Obviously I will have to address, at another time, the issue of 'human' vs. 'animal', which comes up alot here. Worth consulting on these fronts are Daniel Quinn -Ishmael author, and Gary Snyder, The Practice of the Wild...